I had a great idea yesterday. See, I've had this situation in my life for a little while now, maybe eighteen months or so. The long and short of it is this: I really like to play Risk. Kirsten hates Risk. Like almost as much as I hate raisins. Can't stand it. So I don't play a lot of it, unfortunately. But all that is about to change. This morning, I invited three coworkers to an ongoing, one-turn-per-day game of Risk on the spare desk in my office.
The invitation said this:
Here at XOCDOC, we’re hard at work daily preserving, for posterity, the inner workings of an empire destined for greater, bigger, and more inexplicably frustrating things than any of us dare to dream. Together with the tools team, we provide the rough but delicate wicker framework that undergirds the plump cushion of operations in the deck chair that is Xbox Live. You think you know gaming, my friend? Pah! WE know gaming.
That is why the good people of 3363 have decided to extend the right hand of friendship and spirited competition to you (even while palming a dagger near our hips with our left) and invite you to experience the latest advancements in gaming technology. Lovers of real time strategy*, lucky rolls, long campaigns, bitter clashes of red vs. white dice, and all things warlike will find much to love as we embark on our new game together.
- Experience for yourself the thrill of rolling a two and still pulling out a victory when your opponent manages only a single dot on his own die!
- Be there as the tiny plastic cannon the size of Massachusetts becomes nine men, then seven, then six, then a horse!
- Feel the adrenaline course through your veins as you occupy the indefensible European continent!
- Own the indescribable feelings of shouting, “No! Not Irkutsk!” as the hordes swarm the border from Kamchatka!
All of these experiences and more can be yours!
Yes, we are talking about Risk. If you think you’ve played long board games before, well, buckle up, Pardner, because this is going to be a long and bumpy ride like you’ve never seen. So use that paid ten minute break at 2:00 PDT today to attend our opening ceremonies. Choose your army (current options are The Armada Azul, The Crimson Scourge, The Negro (that’s nay-gro, you know, Español) Murder Militia, The Grey Matter, and Los Caballeros Villanos Amarillos, though naming rights can be purchased for a nominal fee), place your mans, and hold on for dear life. One or two turns per workday means weeks of inspiring battlefield bravery, heartwrenching drama, and daring invasions before the final die is cast. Be there, or be elsewhere.
*Note – This game is not a real time strategy.
The players are the members of the Xbox Operations Center Documentation Team (XOCDOC, pronounced "zock dock") that share this office -that would be myself and Richard- and the two guys from the tools team that are just down the hall from us in another office. That would be Urn (Aaron) and Mike. The idea is that we get two paid breaks of ten minutes a piece each day, so we might as well use them to do something together. We'll play a round each day, or as close as time allows, and if it starts impinging on our productivity, we can skip a day when we need to.
Urn promises a bloodbath. I say he's all hat and no cattle, but we'll see what happens when the dice come up. Richard is acting a good deal more meek, feigning docility by reading the instructions again. We'll see if he inherits the earth, sort of literally. And Mike forgot to attend the opening ceremonies today, so Urn called him, and he came on up with the second half of his lunch to deal out the cards. This lackadaisical approach may also be one big head fake. We'll see. As for me? Well, I have a few strategies to use. Sometimes they work, and sometimes they don't. I'll give you updates sometimes if I think about it. Wish me luck! (I know you're pulling for The Crimson Scourge.)
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